bionxm.blogg.se - Best bartender jokes

#BEST BARTENDER JOKES LICENSE#
#BEST BARTENDER JOKES CRACK#

So a five-dollar bill walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Hey, this is a singles bar.”.Comic Sans, Helvetica, and Times New Roman walk into a bar.He says, “Hey barkeep! What’s that voice I keep hearing?” “Oh, those are the peanuts,” the bartender replies. Frustrated and finding no possible source of the voice, he calls over the bartender. Finally, when his nerves have cooled, and he believes the voice is gone, he hears, “I bet your parents are really proud of you!” He slams down his drink and looks around wildly. But then, a moment later, the voice returns, this time offering, “You seem like a really cool guy!” Again, the man looks around, sees nothing, and returns to his drink, wondering if he should get checked out by a professional. A guy walks into a bar after a long day at work and orders a drink.Īs he sits there, mulling over his day, he hears a high-pitched voice say, “That shirt looks great on you!” The man looks around, sees nothing, and returns to his drink thinking nothing more of it.The mushroom looks taken aback and says, “Why? I’m a fun guy.” A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink, but the bartender yells at him to get out before he stinks up the place.“Hey, I’ve got a great new joke for you!” the barman says.

The first one says, “I’ll have a pint of blood.” The second one says, “I’ll have one, too.” The third one says, “I’ll have a pint of plasma.” The bartender says, “So, that’ll be two bloods and a blood lite?”

An oxymoron walks into a bar, and the sound was deafening.

The bartender asks, “Why did you do that?” And the guy replies, “Well, the first shot always tastes like crap, and the last one always makes me sick!” He then takes the last shot in the row and does the same. The bartender sets him up, and the guy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor.

A guy walks into a bar and asks for 10 shots of the establishment’s finest single malt scotch.

The past, present, and future walk into a bar….

RELATED : 100+ Best Pick Up Lines That Never Get Old Best Bar Jokes This list is so good, even your sober friends will laugh at them. Jokes are made for pubs and taverns, so use our funnies to create your comedic moment. And just think about how many of your favorite sitcoms take place in bars (Hellooo! Cheers, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and How I Met Your Mother). Remember that the next time you see someone popping a bottle on TV.

#BEST BARTENDER JOKES CRACK#

And if you think that’s silly, guess how many bubbles are in one bottle of champagne - 49 million! Their corks can pop out at more than 50 miles per hour, which is strong enough to crack glass.

#BEST BARTENDER JOKES LICENSE#

Did you know Abraham Lincoln had a liquor license and sold whiskey before becoming president? One of our founding fathers was basically a bartender! And to keep things historical, early colonialists made alcohol out of almost everything, like tomatoes, carrots, onions, squash, celery, beets, and even dandelions.

Here are a few funny facts that’ll make good bar banter. You’ll be the toast of the night with these babies.

Which is why we rounded up some of our favorite bar jokes and puns below. And what better joke to tell at a bar than a classic, “man walks into a bar” joke. Whether you’re out on a new date or hanging with friends, a great way to break the ice is with a good joke. A night out at your favorite bar is always a fun idea until you’re hit with an awkward silence.